Need You Now
by Sk8tingGleek
Summary: This is a series of song fictions, each chapter will in effect be a different story, but they do all relate in a way. Like my other fics so far they're Karen and Chris based.
1. Need you now

Picture perfect memoriesScattered all around the floorReaching for the phone 'causeI can't fight it anymore

I had all the old pictures of me, Jayne, Nicky and Chris all around me. I was sat cross legged on my bed, in floods of tears. Stephen is long gone, I hope he never comes back to harass me like that ever again, it's so stupid that I let it get to me like this but I can't help it. It comes back to haunt me whenever I close my eyes, or whenever I'm alone. I love having the girls around me but they can't be my rebound forever, they're growing up, they've got their own lives now. They're not going to be here for me forever, I'm trying to get used to that. I really need a man, a man in my life that I can be there for and he can be there for me, it needs to work both ways, someone that understands what I've been through. I picked up the very first picture of me and Chris, back in the 1980's. And I wonder if IEver cross your mindFor me it happens all the time

Chris always seems to creep back into my head. Whenever I'm feeling down he just creeps back up on me. I've always loved this picture, it's my favourite in my whole collection, all the photo albums I have filled with memories, I still come back to this picture after all these years, it just puts a proper big smile across my face every time I see it, but for some bizarre reason I can't bring myself to put it in a frame, or on display. I just sat and stared at it, our heads were close together and our arms around each other's necks. There's a big blob at the top of the picture where Jayne must have had her finger slightly over the lens. It's a quarter after oneI'm all aloneAnd I need you nowSaid I wouldn't callBut I've lost all controlAnd I need you now

And I don't know howI can do withoutI just need you now

I've thought about telling him I needed him so many times. I want to be with Chris. Its more of an urge than anything else, its become stronger over time but secretly it's always been there, at the back of my mind, ever since the very first time I met him. So many times when I've been alone like this, having a bit of a down day, I've nearly picked up that phone and got him over here to get it all out. It was getting harder and harder to resist. I don't think I could live without him now, we've never been in that kind of a relationship together but I'd always thought it would be a possibility, and I don't know what I'd do if he moved away or anything like that…Another shot of whiskeyCan't stop looking at the doorWishing you'd come sweepingIn the way you did before

Drink was my worst enemy. On days like this when I just felt so awful, I just got in from the rink and poured myself a glass of wine. It was like my therapy, Jayne always telling me I drank far too much and all the risks blah, blah, blah… and then she would come over and join me for a glass or two herself, what a hypocrite. [ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/g/glee/need_you_ ]And I wonder if IEver cross your mindFor me it happens all the timeIt's a quarter after oneI'm a little drunkAnd I need you nowSaid I wouldn't callBut I've lost all controlAnd I need you nowAnd I don't know howI can do withoutI just need you nowWhoa, whoaGuess I'd rather hurtThan feel nothing at allIt's a quarter after oneI'm all aloneAnd I need you nowAnd I said I wouldn't callBut I'm a little drunkAnd I need you nowAnd I don't know howI can do withoutI just need you now... Oh baby, I need you now

"Karen? Is that you?" Chris answered almost right away, I was almost surprised. But I had to get all those feelings out, they'd been stored and locked away for far too long, I had to find out if he felt the same way. I climbed into bed with the phone pressed up against my ear, and the photo of us in my left hand, stroking it carefully. I was dreading his response, but looking forward to it at the same time. I'd waited so long to find out if he felt the same way. When we were together I felt some kind of chemistry between us, but somehow too shy to admit anything directly to him. But I needed to. Maybe I'd had a little too much to drink, I didn't know and I didn't care, I just wanted to know how he felt, and even if he didn't feel the same way I wanted him to know I loved him…


	2. Pretending

Face to face and heart to heartWe're so close yet so far apart.I close my eyesAnd look awayThat's just because I'm not okay.

We were lying in each other's arms, in the luxurious king sized bed of the romantic hotel. The clean, crisp sheets draped over our naked bodies as we kissed passionately, placing soft kisses on each other's lips, and down the neck, and up again. It felt right, but wrong at the same time. I'd only just separated from my wife Jill, and I knew Karen was having problems with Stephen, vaguely anyway… she hadn't really told me much before she dragged me up to the bedroom, and here we are two weeks later in the best five star hotel in our part of London. It had all happened quite quickly if I'm honest, but when we were in a bed together it felt like we'd been together a couple for years, if not more, it was phenomenal. But sometimes it felt too wrong, I almost felt guilty, guilty that I was the reason Karen was having an affair, even though that she had come on to me first. It wasn't a good feeling, but it didn't stick around long enough for me to do anything about it or stop it, or even think about what we were doing. By day at the rink, it was as if there was no evening bedroom relationship at all.

But I hold onI stay strongWondering if we still belong.

We never told anyone, I don't even remember how long it was until even Jayne found out, Karen is the best woman I've ever met at keeping a relationship like that a secret, I've never known anything like it, she shows so much love and affection whenever we get the chance to be alone, and as soon as someone enters the room it's like she snaps out of that world and into another world entirely. But I'm always hopeful because she lectures me on how much she loves me, and she wants to be with me, just as much as I want to be with her.

Will we ever say the words we're feeling?Reach down underneathAnd tear down all the walls?Will we ever have a happy ending?Or will we forever only be pretending?Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-a-always a-a-a-a-always be pretending?

Sometimes when we're at the rink I do wonder if we'll ever actually come out as a couple though, we tell each other we love each other and want to spend our lives with each other, but it's almost like Karen doesn't ever want anyone to find out, and I wonder if it's going to work… whether there's any actual point in this relationship? Is she just using me as a therapy for her failing marriage?How long do I fantasiseMake believe that it's still alive?Imagine that, I am good enoughAnd we can chose, the ones we I hold onI stay strongWondering if we still belong.

I'm far too shy about this kind of thing to ask Karen myself about any of all of this, it seems stupid to even risk jeopardising what we've built up, we're both happy, or at least seem to be, and maybe that's enough? Maybe we'll be one of these couples that live together, make out all the time, but only in private, never in public, never broadcast it to anyone, not even our closest friends and family. It seems strange to think that some people actually do that, it must take so much courage and bravery to go along as if nothing else is happening, and act totally as normal around anyone else. Could I do it? Especially when we work in such a large business with so many people involved, it would be practically impossible to resist just running my hands all over her steaming hot body at any given point in the day… I think I'm being stupid, of course she's not going to want to do that, all the sneaking around must just be until she sorts things out with her husband.

Will we ever say the words we're feeling?Reach down underneathAnd tear down all the walls?Will we ever have a happy ending?Or will we forever only be pretending?Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending?

She needs to talk to Stephen, two months after the night our relationship took a massive leap, Karen still hadn't mentioned Stephen again or what was going to happen. It was time I spoke up and told her that I didn't want to continue until he knew, not that I wanted him to find out we were…you know. But it really didn't feel right, as much as Karen tried to persuade me everything was fine, it didn't feel right to be with her in that way, treating her as a very single woman. It was becoming a little ridiculous…

Keeping secrets safeEvery move we like no ones letting goAnd it's such a shame'Cause if you feel the sameHow am I supposed to know?

I finally got her to talk to me one night, and it was then she told me about what he'd been doing. All this time Karen had come to me for some emotional support, to make her feel happy, and loved, and give her a major confidence boost. Not because she was trying to be an obnoxious, two faced bitch, but because he was harming her. She kept trying to tell me but never quite got the full story out, like she was afraid of the truth and what the consequences were because of his behaviour towards her. But eventually it all came tumbling out of her innocent mouth that I'd not once heard a bad word come out of. She told me all about Stephen's threats and challenges, how he'd severely warned her and she'd just nodded and agreed with bated breath. It all started when Karen had tried to tell him that their marriage really wasn't working anymore, it was crumbling to pieces and he just didn't want to admit it, even though, deep down he knew it was true. He knew that Karen had moved on, he could tell in the early days, because she'd not once ever lied to him in the whole 20 years they'd been married. He knew right from the beginning! He'd made her promise she wouldn't tell a soul about their marriage reaching its limits and coming to an end, and exaggerated on the facts about what would happen if she were to commit adultery. Will we ever say the words we're feeling?Reach down underneathAnd tear down all the walls?Will we ever have a happy ending?Or will we forever only be pretending?Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be... Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be... Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending?

Now that everything had flooded out about Stephen I finally fully understood why Karen was so careful not to let anyone, not even Jayne, find out about our secret relationship. It was a shocking story and I knew I couldn't just carry on and let Karen go along with Stephen's evil plans, but I didn't know what to say to her at first. After a lot of thinking I finally came out with the right words to say, and she seemed very grateful for my support of her. I knew it was going to take some time but I knew eventually I was going to bring her self confidence back and give her enough fuel to stand up for herself and her own rights in front of her husband, and it was going to take a lot to get her to do that, but it had to be done.

I saw a bright, bright future ahead of us as a couple and I hoped the visions in my mind would one day come true…


	3. I won't give up

When I look into your eyesIt's like watching the night skyOr a beautiful sunriseThere's so much they holdAnd just like them old starsI see that you've come so farTo be right where you areHow old is your soul?

I stared into Chris's eyes, pools of shining water, they were strangely beautiful, not like any other men's eyes I'd stared into before, that's for sure. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at that moment, but it was a lovely moment. We were sat on the edge of the beach, the ocean in front of us, lapping over the sand, the sun rising on the horizon. Chris had woken me up early, demanded I get ready, or just get dressed, so there I was, 10 minutes later from him pulling me out of our villa, sitting next to his warm body in a strappy sundress. I didn't bother doing much with my hair and no make up, but Chris didn't seem to mind, he just wanted us together, and outside.

He'd taken my hand and practically pulled me down the stairs, out the back door and down the steps to the beach. Since we only arrived the day before we'd not been down there yet, I thought the view from the bedroom window was enough, but this was even more, this was spectacular.

As soon as we got down a few meters away from the sea, we both seemed to stop at the same time, no words were needed. I took in a deep breath, taking everything around me in in a breath. They were beautiful surroundings, the sky was stunning shades of orange and pink. Our hands were linked and our bodies were touching, I felt so small next to him, I had no shoes on, my bare feet sunk into the sand. I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up

It'd been a long journey in our relationship so far but we were both so happy in the moment that nothing else mattered, nothing else except the two of us, and as long as we stayed together then nothing could destroy us. No little argument was going to have an impact on our friendship. We'd both been through a lot in our pasts but we weren't looking behind us, because we both knew we had such an amazing future ahead of us, it wasn't worth looking back at the bad times when we had so much to look forward too. Everything that had happened before was so insignificant now, now that we had each other. And when you're needing your spaceTo do some navigatingI'll be here patiently waitingTo see what you find

Looking onto the horizon, next to Chris, hand in hand, now sitting on the cool sand, it was perfect. Everything in that moment was perfect. I hoped that everything would stay perfect between us, we weren't going to give in easily that's for sure. Looking back at how far we'd come to get to that moment, it was really quite overwhelming. I'd waited a long time for Chris before he was available, but it turned out he'd waited even longer, even though I had absolutely no idea. 'Cause even the stars they burnSome even fall to the earthWe've got a lot to learnGod knows we're worth itNo, I won't give up

I do believe in fate, whatever anyone else says about it, I believe fate brought us together - that's why it took so long. The moment had to be right for anything to happen, but I didn't want to give up hope, and I got through everything with that thought in my mind, 'don't ever give up'. When Chris told me his disappointing news I actually couldn't have been happier. He didn't know how I felt but I knew that my chance was right there in front of me, I did try and stop myself from grinning when he told me, but it was difficult. I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easilyI'm here to stay and make the difference that I can makeOur differences they do a lot to teach us how to useThe tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stakeAnd in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intendFor us to work we didn't break, we didn't burnWe had to learn how to bend without the world caving inI had to learn what I've got, and what I'm notAnd who I am

I'm so very grateful for everyone that's in my life because they're all lovely, amazing people that have helped me so much, through the good and bad. It's quite hard to believe that the person I've been all those years is really me, when now I've found this new, confident woman that won't ever give up, not that easily. A couple of years ago opportunities would just pass me by, and that would be the end, but not now. Not just with me and Chris, but my whole life, I now have so many wonderful things I'd only ever have dreamt of, but now I've got them I'm definitely not letting go. I've finally learnt who I really am.I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking upStill looking up.I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up

I'll never give up.


End file.
